As we enter into the new year, I invite you to take a moment to pause and look back. One of the greatest callings to us at this time of year is to embrace the grace of perspective. As we bid farewell to 2019 and say hello to 2020, that's exactly what I've taken time to reflect on in my most recent column for the Global Sisters Report. Blessings of perspective, patience, and perseverance to you all this new year!
The day before New Year's Eve I met for breakfast with an
old friend from college. In a tiny café in Boston, far from the life I've grown
accustomed to with my sisters, we reminisced about days gone by. The truth was,
with the exception of a message here or there and a random dinner a few years
back ― the year of which neither of us could exactly recall ― we had slipped
off each other's radars.
Still, as we laughed about the things we thought we knew
when we were younger and listened attentively to the events we'd missed in each
other's lives, drawing parallels all along the way, it was as if the 10 years
of relative absence in between us melted away.
"When did we get so old?" We uttered in unison to
one another as the meal began coming to a close.
It wasn't a question of age, but rather an acknowledgment of
a distance covered quickly in conversation and yet separated clearly by
chronology. Where had the time gone? We seemed to be asking one another. And
what's more, where would the time ahead lead us?
Parting ways, we both gave thanks for the relationship we
had and the connection rekindled at year's end. The questions of time past and
future still hung in the air, and yet, overwhelmingly, I was taken by the gift
of gratitude and grace of perspective I found in that moment.
In this season of recollection and renewal, as we make
resolutions and mark the new year, it is the perfect moment to consider the
grace of a healthy perspective and to step back and assess the grace at work in
our lives.
At its core, perspective is the way we see the world and our
place in it. A healthy perspective grounds us in the reality of what is; it
recognizes who we are and how we are in the world, it allows us to better
interact and relate to others, and it judges freely how to proceed based on a
balanced vision of experiences and encounters.
Perspective, of course, comes from our own vantage point.
Thus, to have a balanced and fairly realistic view both of what has been and what
is requires self-awareness, frank honesty, deep patience, and a willingness to
consider the many sides of a situation. Gaining perspective, then, is a process
that requires the hard work of mindfulness, which ultimately leads to peace.
This work of gaining perspective is done both in our
everyday interactions and in the silence of our hearts. At this time of year,
as we pause to look back at the year and decade that have been, we have the
perfect opportunity to gain and deepen our perspective.
A healthy perspective "doesn't only see what we wish to
see … it allows us to better encounter everything we must face to move forward
in life," psychologist Dr. Robert Wicks writes. "[A healthy
perspective] doesn't help us run away from the truth … it enables us to put
things in their proper place."
At the precipice of this new decade, we have the opportunity
to consider what has been, how we've come to where we are and what perspective
these considerations offer to our assessment of what may be, or what we may be
called to in the days, weeks and months ahead.
For myself, I've found it helpful to consider what the last
10 years have held in my life. If I were to give this decade a name, what would
it be?
For me, the decade by and large had been marked by the transition
into adulthood that comes in your 20s and 30s, with particular attention to my
own movement into religious life. Above everything else that this decade has
held, socially, politically or otherwise, it has been for me the decade of the
sister.
At the beginning of the decade, I was just beginning to
visit sisters and inquire about what this life and call could mean for me.
Hopes and desires abounded. In the ensuing 10 years, some of those dreams have
become realities, transforming with all the realism that comes with such
metamorphosis.
Realized dreams, we soon often find, can be less shiny than
we imagined. Looking back on what has come to pass in these last 10 years, it
is important to take stock in the essence of what was longed for and what was
realized. The congruence of these two aspects gives us perspective on the work
of the Spirit and our own attentiveness to the Spirit's work in our lives.
In 2010, I longed for intentional community, for a deeper
relationship with God, for a spirituality, charism and mission I could find a
home in. That longing led me to religious life. What I imagined was a beatific
vision of the life I now live. The years since have refined that vision,
revealing realities not seen or understood before. Experience has put my hopes
and dreams in perspective. The essence of those desires has not changed, but
the perceived path forward and vision for what can be and how it can be has
needed to be re-envisioned.
As I look back, I read my own words from 2015. At the
midpoint of the last decade, I was writing about the need to see with eyes of
hope through lenses both mystical and realistic. "We have to be
visionary," I wrote then as I reflected on the call of religious life.
"We believe in what we cannot see and, through faith, we learn to see in
ways unknown and unclear. In time, vision progresses. We cannot know what
tomorrow holds, but we can learn to see the signs of the times and anticipate
what may be to come."
On the brink of this new decade, I still believe this to be
true. The vision of our hearts adjusts just like that of our eyes. Whether the
outlook is bleak and foggy or bright and clear, we have been given eyes to see
and hearts to weather all conditions.
The hopes and desires with which I started the decade have
not been lost. Some have changed, and some have faded. Others have been
reinforced and demand attention more readily. And yet still others ― new
dreams, desires and hopes ― have come and been added to the collection in my
heart.
If the decade has taught me anything, it is that change
comes incrementally. God works in our desires and our desires are realized in
the slow work of the Spirit played out in daily choices and prayerful
attentiveness.
Where I began the decade as an inquirer to religious life, I
end these 10 years as a newly perpetually professed member of a congregation.
This change didn't happen overnight; it relied on the faithfulness, patience
and perseverance that become apparent within the context of healthy
perspective-taking.
As I look forward to the year ahead and beyond, I wonder
what could possibly be in store. What will change in me and in the world? What
do I need to hold tightly, and what would I be better off letting go of? How
clear is my vision and to what might God be inviting me ― both in big movements
and small ― for the years ahead?
No matter how we answer these questions, we must be mindful of our vision: what we see, how we see, and why we see things the way we do. With a healthy sense of perspective, we can receive the grace of eyes open and spirits attentive to the gifts God offers. May whatever we encounter this year open in us a space to take account of God's vision in us and for us: the grace of perspective for the good of all.
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