I make my first profession of vows in less than a week (August 10th, say what?) and after days and weeks of frantically checking things off my list- making retreat, preparing the liturgy, managing invitations, celebrating other novices' professions, and connecting with family and friends around the country- I find myself on the precipice of my own commitment. Last week as I managed plans, worked on graphics, and tried to manage hospitality for those coming to town for the occasion, a line in an e-mail from a dear friend struck me deeply as I buzzed from one thing to the next.
We had been making plans to connect before my vows and in the midst of scheduling, she simply wrote "Keep flowing from one piece to the other--all you have is THIS present moment." As I looked ahead to all that lie ahead for the day and the to-do lists by my side, I paused. I only have this moment. Right here, right now.
It may not seem like a ground breaking statement. It surely isn't the first time I've heard it, but in that moment, it was what I needed to hear. I can't guarantee anything leading up to Sunday (or beyond.) I can't make things happen and as hard as I plan, things will go as they will. All I really have is this moment... a moment unlike any other.
In five days, I will no longer be a novice- a role I have enjoyed for the last two years. I will be a professed Sister of Saint Joseph. Instead of just "living in the spirit of the vows," I will be vowed. I will be readying myself for a new ministry and moving into a new local community.
Those are all moments that await me. For now, though, I can only be where I am. I can only cherish this moment- a time and space of deep communion with God, a moment that leads toward saying I will give myself to this way of life, a moment filled with clarity and trust.
Knowing the busy schedule that has been and the frenetic days that lie ahead, I find myself with a few day of mandated and most welcomed reflection. As I prepare myself for this next step, I hold fast to this moment and pray that I might be able to flow from one piece to the next with grace, keeping my eyes fixed on the One who has led me here and calls me forth.
Peace & Prayers to you all. May you be present to this current moment and flow always forward in gratitude, grace, and wonder.
Also, my latest column, entitled "Grounded in Love and Truth", is up at the Global Sisters Report... but more on that later.