As autumn settles in & with All Souls' Day yesterday, this post from the Happy Days Blog at the NY Times site gave good form to the hope we find in life that is inherently tied to death... and the one thing May misses in this piece- the joy of living, while epitomized in moments near death, is a glimpse of the joy and a push towards the hope of a life yet to come.

Who do you say that I am?

Ah Ha! "Who do you say that I am?" Leave it to Jesus to pull a curve ball like this.

I vividly remember when I heard this reading for the what seemed like the first time three years ago. I was beginning my year as a college sophomore, living in a community focused on the questions: Who am I? Whose am I? and Who am I called to be? At that time, I focused on why Jesus would ask this question. Why would he ask who people said he was? If I was asked, who would I say that he is?

Today, as I reread that passage and face that question, I ask myself: who do I say that Jesus is?
Not what my response would be if asked this question, although that is important, but what do my actions say that Christ is?- Who do I say that I am through my actions? As a Christian I am called to embody Christ in all that I do and, as such, if Christ asks "Who do you say that I am?" I must reflect on my own actions and being to discover the truest answer. It's easy to respond quickly, to pass out stale responses that we know those around us, and we ourselves, want to hear, but if we really want to find out who Christ is, we must search who we are and how we are striving to be Christ.

As St. James so truthfully writes in the second reading, "Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works." It's as easy and as hard as that- we are Christ. It is our very being that speaks to the who Christ is and, ultimately, in coming to a better understanding of our faith, our community, and our selves it might be best that we try not to answer this question with our lips but with our lives.

"Spirituality is the journey of falling in love with God and living out that love in everyday life."

~Elizabeth A. Dreyer, Making Sense of God: A Woman's Perspective

It's summer and for the first time in a long time I am not running around for the summer months. My typical summer consists of traveling around the country (or world) doing service, taking some time to just "veg" out, and chilling around the house. Half of the time I am running around having a grand old time and the other half I am recouperating, relaxing, and getting ready for the next adventure to come my way.

This summer began much the same- service around the country, loving life, keeping busy, and growing. Now here I am in my typical veg place... but there is no vegging to be found.

Now I am a working girl, you know the whole nine to five thing, yeah that kind of puts a damper on being a total vegetable. (note: time stamp) Still this is a time of growth . Learning a new set of skills, discovering why I am behind a desk rather than out in the field, and, most importantly, finding and taking advantage of new opportunities for growth.

That brings me to the quote above. Usually my summers are full of experience, experience, experience followed by plenty of processing just in time to return to school. This year finds this process in swing but without a definitive ending (gasp! I graduated! That means no going back to school!) Thus I am in search of a faith community and faith life here at home. I've moved back in with my parents, which is a trip to say the least- a big shift from independent living- and am now faced with the issue of continuing the journey of falling in love with God and living out that love in a place that is all too familiar as a person who has grown out of the place I once occupied.

It is here that I begin that journey, a new leg of my faith journey. Not here as in on this blog, but here with this quote. I am in love with God but that love is a continual journey, it shifts as all things do. Each day I discover new ways of loving God; I find peace in some experiences while wrestling with finding meaning in others. I long to fall more deeply in love with God and so I place myself in the still presence of prayer- a place my summer vegging did not often take me with any depth.

Here is a journey... to speak with the divine and even more, to listen to the divine. To find my place, even among the remnants of my childhood home and summer habits, a place that I think I must first discover within myself and then bring to the spaces of my everyday with love for a God-filled life and journey.

It's going to take time no doubt. Time that may be uncomfortable and places that probably will be too. I may be a college graduate but I've got a lot of learning to do. For now, it is my task to journey. Not to know how or why or where, but to look for space where I can journey with no end in sight but the simple "journey of falling in love with God and living out that love in everyday life."

Let's start wandering, why don't we...

The next great American novel? I think not.

My musings on life (my own, yours, and everyone elses')? Yeah probably.