A year ago plus one day I began my ministry as a campus minister at Chestnut Hill College. In lots of ways the last year was about learning. I learned what I didn't know. I learned more about who I want to be. I discovered what is authentic in this ministry and what isn't.
I'm still learning the balance of time and the distribution of energy. Campus ministry could easily take up my whole life. There is always a need; there is always more to do and yet, I have to give myself permission to recognize what is necessary and what isn't. Relationships take priority. And for all the energy that the ministry of presence and especially being "on" all the time take from me, I have to give myself permission to recoup what I've lost.
I am determined to keep writing... to keep going to speak in places... to grow in this ministry and outside of it. After all, my truest vocation is to be who I am and that is a multi-faceted individual offering herself in the pursuit of and service of God. That mission pulls me in numerous directions and I pray I can embrace all it calls forth and that God will bless what is meant to be.
As I reflect on the year that has been and all that lies ahead, I recognize another need. I need to embrace the good this year. I need to celebrate what is good in my life and find the joy and gratitude that each situation presents to me.
Today, I gave hours worth of presentations on our charism and heritage to students. Going into it I was nervous- another round of the new... the story of the last year for me. And yet, as I spoke and led groups in conversation and learning, I felt the world within me opening up. This is where I've been called and to pass it on is a blessing in and of itself. Maybe some of these students won't retain everything. Actually, most of them won't but if I can help to provide an experience that gives them just a little bit to grow with and into I have done my job and in the process of realizing that I am embracing the good. The good of my gifts, the good of life, the good of learning, and the good of being united in a mission far beyond myself.
That sounds like a pretty good life. As year two begins at the college, I hope I can embrace the goodness in my midst and even if I fall short sometimes, hopefully the goodness will embrace me.
Monday, August 3, 2015
I laughed like a rainbow
and all the colors came out
from the corners of my eyes
from the belly of my soul
It rolled off my tongue
and the car swerved as I drove
and like ultraviolet
the laugh went silent
imperceptible but present
the car swerved back
and it shot out in a squeal
making room so I could breathe
in beautiful technicolor majesty.